Red-Carpet - Exclusive or Expansive?

Ever Felt Alone in a Crowd? 

Let me share my story. I attended a three-day workshop event where I didn’t know a soul, which was fine—I was there to take classes, not to socialize, and I'm pretty independent. One evening, though, I was invited to join the group for dinner. I decided to go, thinking it would be fun, and that I'd get to know people in the group. Ugh! What a long night.

We were at a cool German restaurant with long communal tables, servers in lederhosen, and lively music that made it feel like a celebration. But instead of feeling connected to the group, I felt completely isolated. The people around me already knew each other and were deeply immersed in their conversations, laughing and sharing stories. I tried to join in, but every time I started a conversation, the group politely responded, then quickly returned to their own circle. Ever hear that song from the musical Chicago - Mr. Cellophane? Well, I was Miss Cellophane, 

It wasn’t the fun, social experience I had hoped for. I found myself wishing I hadn’t ordered food; I just wanted to leave. Ever been in that situation? Surrounded by people but still feeling completely alone?

Granted, the situation was not set up as a "get to know the new person" kind of event. Still there are small actions the group could have taken to make me feel more included.

In Hollywood, the red carpet is exclusive. However, for us, where everyone deserves the star treatment, the red carpet is EXPANSIVE! Inclusive! A place to connect with others!  Real  connection doesn’t happen by keeping certain people “in” and others “out.” It’s about making room for everyone, and inviting people in, even if we don't know them yet. 

I like to think of the workplace as a place where we get to practice becoming more human - and better humans! To that end, here are three ways you can be more intentional about including others at work and beyond. 

Three Ways to Include Others at Work and Beyond

1. Be the One Who Expands the Circle:
   Inclusion starts with you. Don’t wait for others to make the first move. If you see someone on the edge of a conversation, or sitting on the sidelines, make it easy for them to join in. Instead of assuming they’re fine, extend the invitation—“Come join us!” Make the red carpet expansive, not exclusive.

2. Ask Meaningful Questions:
   The best way to make someone feel seen is by asking about them. Instead of diving straight into your own story, ask them about their experiences, their interests, or what brought them to the event. This shows them they’re valued and welcomed, and it sets the stage for real connection.

3. Connect People to Each Other:
   Don’t just be the one who includes others in conversations—be the one who introduces people to each other. If you see two people who could hit it off, take the initiative and introduce them. By connecting people, you’re expanding the network of inclusion and helping build a stronger community.

Closing Thought:

In the end, it’s not about creating exclusive spaces where only certain people are welcome. It’s about recognizing that the red carpet isn’t exclusive, it’s expansive. As leaders, colleagues, and humans, we have the power to make space for everyone, ensuring that no one feels left out. Make Inclusion a way of being, a constant invitation to make the world, which increasingly feels transactional, a little more connected. 

Call to Action:

Today, find a new co-worker or someone who is typically left out of the group and invite them to join you for lunch, on a break, or to help with a project. Ask them about themselves and strive to make them feel welcome.